In Need of a Savior
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." - Marianne Williamson
I have struggled throughout my life feeling burdened by my mistakes, not because others made me feel guilt over them and not because I feel that they have held me back, but because I often feel painfully aware of my influence on others. I hold many roles in my life, some of which include that of son, brother, husband, and father. One of my daily fears is that my mistakes will hurt those around me. I can identify with Nephi when he stated:
"Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.
I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.
And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins;"
- 2 Nephi 4:17-19
However, I can also identify with Nephi when he follows this sentiment with the following.
"Nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.
My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.
He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.
Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the night-time.
And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me."
- 2 Nephi 4:19-24
I don't think that I have quite been filled as full of love as Nephi has, that my enemies have quaked before me, have seen any visions, or been taken up on any mountains, but I have felt his love and he has done incredible things for me. I am grateful for my savior, I need him. I am grateful for the opportunity to repent, to change, and become a new person. Christmas is always a great reminder of the birth of the Christ child, a child that would grow up to live and die for us.
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